Multiverse was never a myth, just ask Marvel.
The Multiverse exists. If you’re not sure, go watch Into the Spider-Verse. Our universe is not the only one. Some are different, like where Kanye’s President or where I did NOT buy Luna . So let’s dive into the world where dragons are the apex predators:
Well, first of all, dragons are much smarter than us for a simple reason: you can’t scroll your phone with a claw. Can’t swipe, either. My mom would love them. No wonder that the famous dragon Elon Tusk invented the multiverse portal when he was six. Six months old, still inside his egg.
As you probably know, if you have an internet connection, their meaning of life is hoarding treasure. They ran out of treasure to steal in their world so they came here. They’ve tried oil (gave them hiccups), diamonds (Minecraft players kicked their dragon butts), and Ethereum (gas was too high). And that’s when they discovered Solana. The dragons were attracted by it from the beginning. With that love of gold, who could resist? So that especially annoying NFT shillers… maybe it was them. They’ve tried all of the networks, but Solana was the most efficient one. Thus, they decided to lay their eggs there.
Dragon eggs are different, you can’t just crack them open. Since dragons are magic creatures (exactly like those that bought Bitcoin at $69,000), there is a ritual involved: clap 10 times, grab your tambourine and do the rain dance… no wait, that’s my crypto trading routine.
For a Dragon to hatch, you need to sprinkle the egg with some Magic dust. Stop. Wrong magic dust. Bad, bad millennial! The true Magic dust is very common in the dragons’ universe, but virtually impossible to find in ours. Very valuable — and sometimes found in the treasure!
By the way, Dragons are the worst parents in the Multiverse, period. They mostly just leave their eggs in harsh environments so their offspring learn to adapt early on. A dragon whelp was once abandoned among the comments of a crypto influencer’s tweet; that one became the strongest of them all.
There is only one problem: dragons can’t sprinkle their own eggs, since they have paws. So at some point they realized that some alien hairless apes from another universe can help them. Sadly, these aliens were greedy, and refused to help them without getting something in return. So dragons offered what they were the best at: bring random expensive stuff. They do object against the term “Dragon master”, there will be no servitude, but only serious employment contracts. Ask their labor union. And thus breeding dragons became pretty profitable.
That’s why breeding dragons is pretty profitable. yes, you won’t be able to ride them (animal cruelty, guys), but they will bring you crypto, other eggs, stolen NFTs, and maybe other stuff. You don’t want to know where they’re getting all of this stuff, but they sure as hell aren’t minting these NFTs themselves, or operate a validator to get you crypto.
Dragons are not great at small talk, but who could blame them? The fact that they’re not eating you is already something (wasn’t easy for them, too!). So we don’t know that much about their species: we’ve only discovered 5 different kinds of dragons so far:
Maelstrom
No, they won’t introduce you to Aquaman. Stop asking. Also, don’t tell them that spewing flames underwater should not work, unless you want to become (shortly) living proof it does. Maelstrom dragons often swim around Solana beach pretending to be dolphins. Favorite hobby: floating around the Marinanna trench tweeting “What do you landlubbers know about rock bottom?”
Rockfall
Living at the top of a mountain really narrows down your social circle. Dwarves are only interested in digging (even though they’re delicious), and most humans who make it to the top only stay there because they are very dead. So the Rockfall dragons’ version of smalltalk is “Hi, you look tasty.” The dragon equivalent of a shy kid with a mild anthropophagic quirk.
Waldmeister
Growing up in the woods, listening to the rivers flow and birds chirp — they could not become anything but serene. These Dragons are the cuddly variety children draw… right up to the moment you throw away a plastic bottle. They will literally destroy you. Waldmeisters have a personal vendetta against PoW blockchains. Pretty sure one of them ate Satoshi.
Cyberwave
Youngest dragon race. If your phone is slow, it’s probably a Cyberwave dragon using it to google “wing piercing ideas”. Loves Fortnite, memes and hacking NASA for fun. These dragon fulfilled any zoomer’s dream by literally living online, and only manifesting a physical form when needed.
Voidrunner
Space is pretty cold. So is the Voidrunner. Watching black holes consume myriads of worlds must be depressing, so don’t expect a pink friendship bracelet from this one. As soon as humans finally blow up the Earth, this Dragon will have the best view ever.
